guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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