its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
