I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
