My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
