I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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