I didn't shave. On purpose
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
