I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
