I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
