.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
