Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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