i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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