Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize