I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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