I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
