Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
