He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
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Do I have a choice?
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dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
