do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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