thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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