Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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