I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
