I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize
