Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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