I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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