How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
