apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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