It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
