Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
