new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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