I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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