I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize