We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The air taste purple.
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