she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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