I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
where am i from again
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
