i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize