escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
