So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
