please come you make the beer taste better
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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