plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
someone owes me an orgasm
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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