My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
