I am puke
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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