ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Say something about gay babies.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
