Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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