FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
