do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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