Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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