You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
