i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
