Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
