just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
