Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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