The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back