Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.