the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
