You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
