Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize