my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
