I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
