Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
