I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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