so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
